Be A Hot Creature of Mystery

Rules:

1) Always look hot. Always smell good. Always sport something unusual for conversation. A tattoo, a piece of jewelry, a remarkable shirt-- these are all good examples. Let your outfit revolve around them and pay attention to the eyes drawn to them. At some point you will be asked about your flash. Keep your story short, creative, and never about another girl.

2) Be receptive to eye flirting. If a girl looks at you, and you look away then look back to find she's still ogling you-- make a move. If she's too shy to stare back, but you catch her looking at you three times or more-- make a move. If every time you look at her she hurriedly looks away-- make that move, dammit.

3) Never be obvious. When making your move, leave a little up to the imagination. Find a reason to walk by her-- look her directly in the eye and smile as you do. Quietly mouth 'hi' as you walk by and gauge her reaction. Does she look a little a off-kilter or a little flustered? Good-- you've done it correctly.

4) Be patient. Part of being cool is appearing as though you are having the time of your life. Rushing right in creates anxiety-- waiting for your moment creates a hot beast of passion.

5) Watch your body language. In the gay girl world it is easy to mistake friends for lovers. Although you are most definitely having so much fun it hurts-- smile with your face and project the lone wolf with your body. Otherwise one of your friends will seem a little too engaging-- and you'll wind up talking to her all night instead of someone new and exciting. Don't turn your body fully square with another girl's and don't lean too far in to another girl's ear.

6) Watch her body language. See if she leans towards you when you get near. Pay attention to see if she plays with her hair or touches her arm when she talks to you. Fidgeting is a dead giveaway for sexual tension.

7) Cultivate lots of conversations with lots of people. So what if you don't know them? All the better then-- you won't care what they think. Casually commiserating with others increases your chances of meeting someone new and fabulous.

8) Limit your life story. Don't talk for too long, and don't try to be too original. A simple, 'hi, how ya doing' will do the trick. Ask questions and try to find out about her.

9) Try not to make out in the bar. I say 'try' because on many occasions I have failed at this. Instead of giving yourself a reputation, ask her if she wants to go outside with you. If she has half a brain, she'll know what you're asking and you can eliminate a lot of the guess work then and there.

10) Be clear. Be bold. Shoot for the moon and if you happen to catch a star on the way down, all the better. Ask her on a date. Tell her you like her. The worst she can do is say she doesn't feel the same way. Big deal! You can still be friends, if you like her enough for that. She'll always think fondly of you either way, because she'll always feel flattered by it. And you know women-- they don't forget a damn thing.

Is it a Date? Do You Want it to Be?

It's hard to tell sometimes if you're on a date with a girl or if it's just a friends things. That's one of the caveats of lesbian dating that makes it interesting. Just the same, if you ambiguously ask a girl out and you want to make it a date, I have a system for you! It's called the SCENT model, and it's a series of tips to help you weave through the gray area...

S: SEATING. Try to sit as near as humanly possible to your intended date. Do not sit across from her; sit next to her. Pick a restaurant with tables that allow for physical proximity. The closer you are, the more she will pick up on your attraction, and hopefully your cologne.

C: COMPLIMENTS. You should try to get in a few compliments, and if you can work them into the conversation with ease they will be more effective. Compliments convey interest. They say 'I've been noticing you, and I like what I see.' Be sure to always say them with a smile, because then they come off as sweet and not so intense. Women go for sweet. (Intensity is for the advanced!!!)

E: EYE CONTACT. Maintain as much eye contact as possible. You may speak with your mouth, but the idea is to communicate the meaning with your eyes. You can gauge a lot about your date by how she reacts to your eye contact. If she returns it, she's probably into you.

N: INTEREST. Ask lots of questions! Everyone loves to talk about themselves, but nobody wants to be on a date with that douche that won't shut up. So ask her about herself. Make the date about her. Show her that you value who she is and you want to know more about her. It will make her feel special, at ease, and it will open her up to you.

T: TAKE INITIATIVE. At the end of the evening make some kind of move. While walking her to her car, place your hand gently on her back and see if she drifts a little closer to you. Finally, turn to her, square on, and look into her eyes. If she looks back at you for a full second and a half, she wants you to go in for the kiss. If she goes straight for the hug, see if it lingers. Any longer than three seconds and you are green-lighted to upgrade to smooching.

So that's the basic formula for conveying interest and creating a successful date. Give the pointers a try on your next date, and see how far your night goes!